How I work
Therapy that listens to the whole person — not only the part that can explain.
We begin with your experience and shape the work around what helps you feel understood, safe enough to explore and increasingly able to make choices that feel like your own.
What integrative means here
Different perspectives, held within one coherent relationship.
Integrative counselling does not mean collecting techniques and trying them at random. It means drawing thoughtfully from different therapeutic perspectives while keeping the work connected to your needs, pace and aims.
Sometimes it is most helpful to talk and make sense of what happened. At other times, the important information may be in an emotion, a relationship pattern, a bodily response or something that is difficult to put into words.
The approach may change as the work develops. The foundation remains steady: a respectful relationship in which your experience, consent and capacity to choose matter.
What this may feel like in practice
Depth without force. Compassion without avoiding what needs attention.
Therapy can be both gentle and honest. We can respect the reasons a pattern developed while also examining the cost of allowing it to keep organising your life.
Understood before challenged
We begin by understanding what a response has meant or protected, rather than treating it as something defective that must be removed.
Your pace matters
You will not be pushed to disclose, relive or explore something before there is enough safety and support to do so.
More than intellectual insight
Understanding is valuable. We may also explore how a pattern is experienced emotionally, relationally or in the body.
Choice and collaboration
I may offer an observation, question or possible way of working. You can consider it, adapt it, decline it or tell me that it does not fit.
Practical and reflective
We can attend to what helps now while also exploring the experiences and meanings beneath the immediate difficulty.
No required belief system
You do not need to share a psychological, systemic or spiritual worldview. We work with what feels credible and meaningful to you.
The foundations beneath the work
A relationship that makes room for mind, emotion, body and context.
Relational
The relationship between us is not simply the background to therapy. Feeling heard, taken seriously and able to be honest can become part of the change itself.
Trauma-aware
Safety, pacing, consent and choice guide the work. Protective responses are approached in context, without assuming that every difficulty is caused by trauma.
Somatic awareness
When useful, we may gently notice sensations, tension, heaviness, movement or changes in breathing. The body is listened to, not interpreted for you.
Systemic
Family relationships, cultural contexts, learned roles and patterns that may pass between generations can influence how you see yourself and relate to others. This is explored as a possible perspective, never imposed as fact.
How change may develop
Not in a straight line — but through a growing capacity to notice, understand and choose.
Change is rarely a tidy sequence. These movements often overlap and repeat as new layers of experience become available.
From an identity shaped by survival towards one that feels secure enough to be real and hold the truth — including your own.
Notice
Recognise patterns, emotions and responses that previously happened automatically.
Understand
Explore how they developed and what they may have helped you manage, avoid or preserve.
Experience differently
Meet feelings and needs with more support, compassion and room to remain present.
Choose
Experiment with boundaries, responses and ways of living that are less governed by old protection.
You only need somewhere honest to begin.
Book a free initial callDifferent ways of listening
Words remain important — but they are not always the only doorway.
Any of these ways of working may be offered when relevant. None is a requirement, and we do not have to use all of them.
Conversation and reflection
Making sense of experiences, relationships, beliefs and recurring thoughts through attentive dialogue.
Emotional and bodily awareness
Gently noticing how an experience is felt, without forcing catharsis or assigning a fixed meaning to a bodily response.
Systemic Family Constellations
Considering family roles and patterns across generations and wider patterns when this offers a useful perspective. Within counselling it is always optional and agreed together.
Art, imagery or objects
Using simple creative materials when words feel limited. This is a therapeutic tool within counselling; it is not art therapy, and no artistic skill is required.
Clear boundaries create room for trust
What you can expect — and what I will not assume.
A thoughtful approach also needs limits. These protect your agency and keep the work grounded in your actual experience.
You can expect
- Warmth, attention and honest reflection
- Choice about the pace and direction of the work
- Questions that invite exploration rather than demand an answer
- Regular opportunities to review how therapy is feeling
I will not assume
- That I understand your experience better than you do
- That every symptom has one hidden cause
- That a family member can be diagnosed from your account
- That spiritual language or alternative perspectives must fit you
The meaning of SomaSoul
Wholeness without imposing a definition of what wholeness should be.
Soma refers to the body in its living, experiencing wholeness. Soul, in the name SomaSoul, points towards the inner life: meaning, values, identity and the part of us that cannot always be reduced to a symptom or diagnosis.
This does not make the counselling religious or require a spiritual belief. For clients who find it meaningful, there can be room for spiritual or existential questions. For those who do not, the work remains equally complete and welcome.
Choosing where to begin
Ongoing counselling or one focused systemic session.
Primary service
Individual Counselling
A consistent therapeutic relationship for difficulties that benefit from ongoing exploration, support and integration.
Explore individual counsellingSpecialist option
Systemic Family Constellations
A standalone 60-minute experiential session focused on a recurring pattern, relationship or systemic question.
Explore Family ConstellationsQuestions about the approach
Frequently asked questions
Do I need to understand the different therapy models?
No. It is my responsibility to think about how different perspectives may support the work. You only need to tell me what you are experiencing and what does or does not feel helpful.
Is this suitable if I have never had counselling before?
Yes. You do not need previous therapy, a diagnosis or a clear explanation. We can begin with the sense that something is difficult, stuck or no longer working.
Will we focus on the body in every session?
No. Somatic awareness is one possible way of listening to experience. It is introduced gently, when relevant, and you can decline or pause at any time.
Do I have to use Family Constellations?
No. My foundation is integrative counselling. A systemic or constellation perspective is optional and only included when it feels relevant and agreed together.
Is the creative work art therapy?
No. I am not an art therapist. Art materials, objects or imagery may sometimes be used as simple tools within counselling to support expression and reflection.
Is SomaSoul a spiritual form of counselling?
Not necessarily. The name reflects an interest in the whole person. Spiritual or existential questions are welcome when they matter to you, but no belief system is assumed or required.
Begin where you are
Begin with whatever you have — a feeling, a question, or a sense that something needs to change.
A free initial call gives us a chance to talk about what brings you here and consider whether this way of working feels right for you.
Book a free initial callLilian Pilgrim · MBACP Registered Integrative Counsellor