Individual Systemic Family Constellations
When the pattern keeps returning, even after everything else has changed.
You may have changed the country, relationship, job or circumstances — yet find yourself meeting the same difficulty in a different form. A constellation session offers an experiential way to explore what may be shaping that repetition, including patterns that may pass between generations.
When understanding has not been enough
You may know the story clearly — and still feel pulled back into the same position.
Some people arrive after therapy has helped them understand their history. Others already recognise their family dynamics. The remaining question is often why the pattern continues to feel larger or stronger than conscious intention.
The same experience, different setting
You change the relationship, workplace or country, but eventually find yourself carrying a familiar role, conflict or emotional burden.
Guilt when choosing yourself
Boundaries, success, rest or a different way of living can bring guilt — as though moving forward means leaving someone behind.
Responsibility that is hard to put down
You feel responsible for other people's wellbeing, emotions or choices, even when the cost to you has become too high.
A difficult sense of belonging
You may feel outside your family, relationships or community — or believe that belonging depends on becoming who others need you to be.
Insight without movement
You can explain the pattern intellectually and may have worked on it in therapy, but something still seems to return you to the same place.
Family dynamics you want to see more clearly
You recognise loyalties, exclusions, losses or learned roles within the family and want a focused way to explore their possible influence.
A systemic perspective
We develop within relationships, families, cultures and histories — not in isolation.
Systemic Family Constellations considers how our present experience may be influenced by the roles, relationships and messages within the systems to which we belong.
This does not mean assuming that every difficulty is inherited or that the session can establish one definitive cause. Instead, we explore possible connections and notice what becomes meaningful for you.
The work remains centred on your experience: what you recognise, what you do not, and what may offer greater clarity or choice in the present.
What happens in an individual session
A focused exploration of one question or recurring difficulty.
You do not need to bring a complete family history or arrive with a polished explanation. We begin with the concern that matters to you now.
In one-to-one work, simple objects, markers or positions may be used to represent relevant people, experiences or elements of the system. This can make relationships and perspectives easier to observe than through conversation alone.
We notice what emerges without treating it as literal fact. You remain involved in deciding what fits, what does not and what you want to take from the session.
Clarify
Choose a focused question, relationship or pattern to explore.
Represent
Use simple markers to create a visible map of the relevant system.
Notice
Explore positions, connections and responses with curiosity rather than certainty.
Integrate
Consider what the experience has clarified and what may support you afterwards.
Grounded and collaborative
A constellation is an exploration — not proof of what happened.
The work stays grounded in what you know and experience. It does not recover hidden memories, assign blame or claim certainty about events you did not witness. It does not replace medical, psychiatric or psychological care. Any perspective that emerges is considered alongside your own knowledge, values and lived experience.
If the same pattern keeps finding you in different places, we can begin by looking at the question it carries.
Enquire about a sessionThree ways this work may fit
A specialist session in its own right — or part of a wider therapeutic process.
Standalone session
A focused individual constellation for a particular pattern, relationship or question. You do not need to be a counselling client.
Alongside your existing therapy
You may attend after a therapist has suggested constellation work as a complementary perspective. Your therapeutic relationship remains separate and confidential.
Within counselling with me
Constellation ideas may be included gently within ongoing integrative counselling when relevant, helpful and agreed together. They are always optional.
Training & experience
Systemic training supported by therapeutic experience.
I am a Systemic Family Constellations Facilitator and an MBACP Registered Integrative Counsellor.
I completed the Foundation and Applied Training with the Centre for Systemic Constellations (CSC), a two-year pathway developing both systemic understanding and the skills required to apply constellation work in practice, including one-to-one settings.
I also spent one year assisting the Year 1 Foundation course in Bristol. I have worked with Family Constellations since 2009 and facilitated constellation work since 2011.
Sessions & fees
One focused hour, with time to arrive and consider what comes next.
You may contact me directly to enquire about a session or book a free initial call if you would prefer to talk first. We can consider whether a constellation session, counselling or another form of support would best fit what you need.
- Session
- Individual Systemic Family Constellation
- Length
- 60 minutes
- Fee
- £85 per session
- Online
- Across the UK and internationally
- Limited In-person
- Crediton and Exeter, Devon
Questions before beginning
Frequently asked questions
Do my family members need to attend?
No. This is an individual session. Other people do not need to be present, contacted or told that you are attending.
Do I need to know my complete family history?
No. We work with what you know and with the concern you bring. We do not fill gaps with assumptions or treat an emerging impression as historical fact.
Is this suitable if I already have a therapist?
It may be. Some clients come because their therapist has recommended a constellation session to complement ongoing work. It is usually helpful to let your therapist know, but I will not contact them or share information without your permission, except where safeguarding or legal duties apply.
Will one session resolve the pattern?
There is no guaranteed outcome. A focused session may offer a different perspective or clarify something important, while deeper or longstanding difficulties may benefit from ongoing therapeutic support.
Do I have to believe in inherited or transgenerational trauma?
No. You do not need to adopt a particular belief system. We can explore family relationships, learned roles and possible systemic influences while remaining grounded in what is meaningful and credible to you.
Are you currently offering group workshops?
Not at present. I have previously facilitated Family Constellation groups in Exeter, but since 2023 my constellation work has been offered through individual sessions. You can register interest in Family Constellation workshops planned for 2027.
You can begin with one question
What keeps repeating — and what might become possible if you could see it differently?
You can contact me directly to enquire about an individual session, or book a free initial call before deciding.
Lilian Pilgrim · Systemic Family Constellations Facilitator · MBACP